Here's To Being A MOM And All The ways I Might F* It Up!

The word sensitive, when related to a son is what most moms love to be able to say.  We want our sons to be affectionate, to be kind and to be gentle.  All that being said, parenting a sensitive boy has it's own set of difficulties.

While it's amazing to see him cuddle and coo at his baby sister, when he comes home in tears because his friends told him he couldn't play with them at school, it leaves me with a hole in my gut. When he gets scared because his teacher raises her voice, or when he bursts into tears over being corrected, I’m lost for words on how to help him navigate those feelings.  I try, as every mom does, but every time I feel like I come up short.

As much as he's sensitive, he's equally spirited. Put him in a room of boys and he is bouncing off the walls. Given the opportunity, he will find a way to sneak around us to get his way.  He's been coined Dennis the Mennis in our family at times, because although he is as boy as boys get, he has this sweet heart that most the time he actually doesn't even realize he is going to get in trouble for what he has set out to do.

His sweet grin, after he throws the green slime up in the air, that is now stuck to the ceiling, or his light laughter after he knocks down all the decorations on the armoire from an "ultimate plane landing". His eyes bulging out when he realizes the sink overflowed onto the floor, because he stopped paying attention from the excitement of the bubble bath he was creating!  He challenges us daily as parents, to try and appreciate the joy in his attempts, but also to guide him with lessons and rules.

My husband and I are careful in our choice of words, but at times I feel like I'm walking on eggshells with him.  I listen to his sadness after a hard day at school and although I empathize with his heart, at the same time I want to parent.  To help him understand he can't always chase after the same kid, because he is the easiest to catch.  That you cannot always correct other 5 year olds because you know the right answer.  Teaching them these life skills they need … “where is that parenting book?!”

As soon as I start to talk to him about the other side of the stick in any situation, the tears pour. I get another stab in my stomach that he feels I’m not on his team.  

This mom gig is NO JOKE and I feel like I'm always torn. He needs rules and guidance, but he also needs gentle leadership.  When I attempt both, I feel like sometimes I get it wrong.  I just want him to be happy, innocent and full of joy.  That time he danced away like no one was watching and he did not care about being laughed at.  I have this wish for that feeling to remain as long as possible.

I know that the tantrums and break downs are all part of him growing up, but when you love a little human so much, you want the best for them. At times I feel so lost at how to actually achieve that.

So here is to being a mom.. and all the ways I know I might F *IT UP (lol) …