I laid down Thursday night, November 19th, feeling normal. At this point, I’m 40 weeks 3 days pregnant and feeling like I’m being pranked. I feel like holding my baby girl in my arms is only a vague dream fading away with every text message and phone call I receive asking if I’m still pregnant.
I woke up at one in the morning Friday (November 20th) thinking I might be starting to feel some contractions, which ended up just being a really sore bladder. Apparently, the two hours of sleep had filled my bladder over its capacity because I let out a river, and no, it wasn’t my water breaking. I laid back down and continued to wake every two to three hours to empty my bladder.
Morning time had arrived and I had no desire to go back to bed. It was close to seven in the morning and I was wide awake. I began to feel small contractions rolling in. They felt like uncomfortable menstrual cramps. I was excited, but nervous that it might just be my mind playing tricks on me. Could I really (finally) be on my way to brining Zion home?
Josh came into the room and asked how I was feeling. I debated on telling him about the start of my contractions because I was nervous it was me simply make-believing them.
Of course, I gave him the news.
It was unspoken, but the atmosphere in our household was that of excitement all around. Even Little Nugget felt it as we asked him if he was ready for Zion to come home.
Could it really be that we were finally on our way to start the journey of bringing our little girl home? (Can you tell how incredulous I felt by how doubtful I was about the onset of labor?)
Being that the contractions were just beginning and they were really small, I felt comfortable with Josh going to work, but he suggested that he drop Little Nugget and me off at my mom’s house for the time being. Arriving to my mom’s house (which is only a 10 minute drive from us), the contractions seemed to have become more consistent and a bit stronger; however, I didn’t start timing them because gauging my mood and emotions, I knew this was still only the beginning. (I realized that this wasn’t necessarily true in the end.) I text Robyn, my midwife, giving her a heads up that I had begun pre-labor (or what I thought was pre-labor). I ate something small, some cereal, since my appetite was not great, and began stocking up on some electrolytes (maybe a little early, but figured it couldn’t hurt).
I took advantage and did some last-minute loads of laundry at my mom’s house and while I did that, I found myself squatting, leaning, rocking, and deep breathing my way through the contractions as they came on. Occasionally, I’d feel a little nauseous but the feeling would go away as soon as the contractions ended.
In between doing laundry, I played with Little Nugget trying to keep my mind off of me laboring. Little Nugget would occasionally ask me what was happening to me when he saw me rocking on all fours, I shot back (nicely) asking him if he was going to help daddy massage me when I didn’t feel good. He confidently replied with a “yes” and added if he would be doing this at Robyn’s house. My heart filled with joy as this was proof enough that involving him in this whole process had made him knowledgable and more aware of what was happening.
It was about eleven in the morning when my mom arrived home. She had been out on an errand and it had been only Little Nugget and me at her house. She was surprised to find out that I had started labor as I waited to tell her until she got home. She was also very surprised to see how close together the contractions were happening. She started timing them when I told her I didn’t want to focus on how close together they were and explained that I was just going based on my mood. According to her, my contractions were 4 to 2 minutes apart. She suggested I contact Josh to let him know to head home. I was in denial until I felt a slight push sensation. I knew it was go time then! But still, I thought I had more time than I did. I still thought it was all in my head.
I sent Josh a text making him aware of my current status. He text back letting me know he’d be on his way. I spent my time looking out the front door hoping every car passing by was him. I wasn’t in pain, but the contractions just continued to pile on.
Waiting for Josh to arrive, I tried to remember words that I’d use in describing labor: “hugging my baby out,” “amazon woman,” “empowering,” “beautiful journey”. I had accepted that I was on my way to bringing Zion home; however, still in denial of how far along I was in my labor.
Josh arrived to my mom’s house, loaded Little Nugget and me into the car and we headed to our apartment to pick up our bags. It wasn’t long before we were officially on our way to the birth center.
The drive to the birth center (about a 25 minute drive) consisted of me attempting to somehow prop my pelvis up as much as I could to make the contractions less uncomfortable, deep breathing, and coaching myself by repeating, “Just get through this one contraction.” Having my eyes closed and allowing myself to completely be embraced by the contractions really helped my mental state. Before I knew it, we had arrived at the birth center.
Making it through the front door of the birth center resulted to be a challenge for me as the contractions kept rolling in. When I finally made it in, it wasn’t long before Robyn and Josh found me sitting on the toilet exclaiming, “She’s coming!” I heard footsteps running on the wood-floored hallway leading to the room I was in. Robyn barely had enough time to check Zion’s heart rate. All was well with Zion, and she was “right there”. Shortly after, I exclaimed again, “She’s coming!” And surely enough, she was. I was asked if I wanted to move to the bed to push or stay on the toilet. I decided to stay on the toilet where I felt safe and comfortable.
The next few minutes were incredible. Literally, the. next. few. minutes. To give you an idea of how fast it all happened, we arrived to the birth center at about 1:30pm. Zion was born at 1:54pm.
I pushed her out so fast that Robyn had to help me slow down. My beautiful baby girl was so swollen and a little bruised from her face because I barely gave her enough time to rotate out, but my goodness was she beautiful and perfect.
My goodness was it all beautiful and perfect.
When I held her in my arms, all I could say was, “Mamas! Mamas! Yes mamas! You’re here with us mamas!” She was finally home! And my tribe was there to greet her with me. Josh and Little Nugget had been by my side the entire time. Little Nugget saw her and said, “Oh she’s so cute! She looks like a baby!” and pranced around the room letting us all know he was her “brudder”.
I had trusted my body and embraced my labor, and the result was glorious. I am beyond blessed with a support team that believed in me and my vision.
I feel one step closer to heaven.
A very special thank you to:
Robyn, my midwife, for being the amazing, knowledgable, and loving person we know you to be. Thank you for being so hands-off and allowing me to enjoy every bit of my pregnancy and labor. It means the world to me that you helped us include Little Nugget in everything.
My Little Nugget for being the best son I could ever imagine. Thank you for being by my side through it all and for showing an abundance of love to me and your sister even before she was born.
My husband, Josh, who continues to amaze me. Thank you for your hard work, love, care, and faith in me. I can only continue to offer you to spend the rest of my life with me as repayment for loving me (and now our children) so much. Also, thank you for never doubting me and my natural ability to birth our children.
All of my family and friends who were alongside me through this entire journey. You all provide me life, light, and faith.
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