The Mom struggle is REAL!

I'm a mom.

I struggle to find balance in life and always put my family's needs before mine. Every time I leave the house (which right now is sadly averaging once a week), I feel the need to apologize for our appearance. Things like, "My child usually matches, but stripes and polka dots are the only clean patterns," "Sorry, my entourage and I are a hot mess," "I realize I look awful, I ran out of dry shampoo," "Oh, gosh. I didn't realize I had food on my shirt. Wait... that might be my kid’s booger."

I think you get it.

Why do I feel the need to apologize for these things?

My apology is typically posed to another mother at a playdate. I know she gets it, but I still feel the is guilt for not appearing to have my “stuff” together. I know she's got to be doing the same thing at her house and struggling with the same issues? Right? Just me? I really hope not. We all try to post the nicest photos of our lives on Facebook and Instagram, as though to tell the other Mamas, "Hey, life is perfect over here in the [fill-in-the-blank with your last name] Household! My daily makeup regimen is on point and my children are always poised for an impromptu Baby Gap photo shoot!" (Aren't those social media filters amazing, by the way?)

I don't know about you, but I seriously can't remember the last time I wore makeup. I may have looked in the mirror yesterday and noticed I literally had two caterpillars above my eyes that needed dire plucking! I then realized it was the first time I've looked in the mirror (like really looked at myself) in probably a week or so. Because seriously... what toddler mom has time to painstakingly pluck individual unruly hairs from her exhausted brows??

At the risk of being tossed out of the Perfect Mom Club (as if I ever had a membership) I want to pose a question. Does this hot mess life have to be a bad thing? Why can't we embrace honest mama realness? Find some amusement in it? Poke fun at ourselves and have a good laugh at the chaotic madness that is our REAL selfless mama life? It is what it is...and that can totally be.okay. We will, after all, look back someday in the distant future and miss these moments. (At least that is what my mom keeps telling me.)

I’ve learned to embrace the fact that I may be a "hot mess,” but I'm happy with that. Go ahead, have a good laugh about the booger that I literally just found on my shirt. I no longer pretend that I don't live in leggings and tee shirts I do. No, for real. I think the last time I wore jeans might have been two-ish years ago. I can't remember. I didn't mark it on the calendar. (But alas, I digress...)

These kids of ours will only be little once. That’s it! It’ll be over in the blink of an eye. I want to soak up every last ounce of these tiny moments and attempt to enjoy the chaos. I’m a hot mess, I’m boundlessly exhausted, but that must mean I’m crushing this whole mom thing. And if you feel like this too, you probably are as well! So way to go, Mama! Let’s go easy on ourselves and each other, embrace the challenges of selfless motherhood together, and vow to pluck those eyebrows (at a minimum) on a quarterly basis.

By Melissa Lyons Grins & Grace OR @grinsandgrace            Newsletter SignUp:  Email: