On The Inside

By: Kristin Quinn of Misadventures in Mommyhood

As soon as the words left my mouth I knew I shouldn’t have said them.

They came out like a yo-yo that wouldn’t retract, hanging limp at the end of a string. I was standing in front of a long mirror in a walk-in closet looking backwards at a dress that didn’t fit right anymore. Not because it wasn’t my size but because I had birthed babies, my body had shifted, and who had time to go shopping for a new dress that fit perfectly anyway? My shoulders were slumped and my eyes looked tired. I made a mental note to pick up that new cream my Mom mentioned.  I pulled at the zipper on the side of the dress and...

As soon as the words left my mouth I knew I shouldn’t have said them.

I was getting ready for an event that night, feeling rushed and on edge. I didn’t drink enough water that day and was lightheaded and hungry. I didn’t want to go. I wanted to crawl back into my sweatpants and stick my feet into those furry slippers. My eyes wandered over to the day's comfort I had just thrown into a corner. I wanted to snuggle the kids in bed while reading about a panda bear that lost his blanket and fairies that liked to play in the mud. I wanted to kiss their soft heads and breathe in their sweet scents. I wouldn’t have to think about packing a lipstick in my purse or if that purse matched my shoes or how the hell I was going to eat without popping a zipper off. Why did I commit to this anyway? Didn’t I remember I had no time to search for a new dress? Or buy that new cream? Or even drink enough water during the day?  I was feeling sorry for myself but...

As soon as the words left my mouth I knew I shouldn’t have said them.

She was standing on a blue ottoman perched high up on her tippy toes.  She was gazing into my jewelry stash, admiring the shiniest pieces. She had tied my pink bathrobe around her little frame and applied 6 coats of blush to the apples of her cheeks. Maybe she didn’t hear me I told myself and turned away from the mirror. Several moments of silence later I was darting around the closet, rummaging through more shoes looking for the high ones with the strap in the back. I was bent over a set of drawers with my zipper still undone when I felt a small finger tap on my lower back. I turned around to see her draped in five of my necklaces; the high shoes with the strap in the back falling off her feet. “I know why you don’t feel pretty Mommy” she chirps matter of factly with big innocent eyes. "It’s because you aren’t smiling."

And as she turns around to admire herself in the long mirror, I start to feel more beautiful on the inside than anything else that matters.

We are so excited to feature Kristin Quinn of the blog Misadventures in Mommyhood for #MommyBlogMondays this week.

You can find more of her online here: